Everyone’s favourite American import, other than syrup on pancakes, is here in the shape of Halloween. As we gear up for annoying kids pestering us for ‘candy’ all evening, let’s take our mind off of the constant interruptions of Friday night our telly with a look through this scary XI…
Any we missed? Drop your best suggestions in the comment section beloooooooooooow.
In ghoul we have Coourtois, whose presence can scare almost any striker.
DF – Satan Baines (Leighton Baines)
Devilishly good at left-back, it’s Baines
DF – Ledley Pumpkin-g (Ledley King)
A pumpkin may have more mobility than King…
DF – Tony Addams Family (Tony Adams)
Football – Tony Adams Testimonial – Arsenal v Celtic – 13/5/02Tony Adams – Arsenal Mandatory Credit:Action Images / Andy CouldridgeDigital
Not easy to watch… it’s Adams
DF – Per Murder-sacker (Per Mertesacker)
One way to stop attackers… it’s Mertesacker
MF – Mesut Ooooooooo-zil (Mesut Ozil)
His form has been scarily bad… it’s Ozil
MF – Frank-enstein Lampard (Frank Lampard)
Lampard can doctor our midfield…
MF – Jack-o-lantern Wilshere (Jack Wilshere)
Lighting up attacks, it’s Wilshere
MF – Charles N’Zombie-a (Charles N’Zogbia)
Back from the dead, it’s N’Zogbia
ST – Roberto Skull-dado (Roberto Soldado)
Well Spurs fans have been calling him a numbskull for a while!
ST – Ricky van Ware-wolfswinkel (Ricky van Wolfswinkel)
Transforming from promising striker to Norwich flop it’s Van Wolfswinkel
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Arsene Wenger is reportedly ready to scrap his transfer philosophy of signing young players for Arsenal by making a shock move for Chelsea’s Frank Lampard.
The Blue’s midfield legend is in the last year of his contract at the club and new manager Rafa Benitez has revealed the player will be free to leave Stamford Bridge at the end of the season.
Signing Lampard, 34, would be going against Wenger’s usual preference of looking to sign and develop stars for the future rather than those who have already reached their peak.
Lampard has been subject of rumours linking him with a move to LA Galaxy but the England international is reported to be keen on staying in Europe.
With the midfielder able to move on for free in the summer, Wenger will be weighing up the decision of whether to make a cash offer to Chelsea for him in January in a bid to prize him away early.
Arsenals miserable start to their Premier League campaign sees them in 10th position in the table and Wenger has fallen under increased pressure to turn the clubs fortunes around.
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The Frenchman has also been heavily linked with moves for strikers Klaas-Jan Huntelaar of Schalke, and Atletico Madrid’s Adrian Lopez, as well as Everton midfield Marouanne Fellaini amongst others.
Manchester United have been offered Marco Verratti plus cash for Paul Pogba this summer, according to The Sun.
What’s the story, then?
The Sun report that have taken a chance and enquired about the availability of United’s club-record signing, who is currently at the World Cup with his native France.
They also claim that Verratti was on the verge of signing a new contract worth £9m per year but the French champions are now willing to listen to offers – including cash only ones – for the Italian international.
They add that there is no indication as yet of whether United are willing to let Pogba leave this summer.
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This is the perfect solution for Mourinho
It is becoming increasingly clear that Mourinho thought he was getting a Michael Essien-style midfielder in Pogba, who lacks the positional discipline to play in a midfield duo, preferring to play further forward instead.
The issue is recouping the bumper transfer fee United paid for the French international and using it efficiently to sign a replacement, but that would be eradicated by a swap deal for Verratti.
If PSG are willing to give United some cash as well, then the deal would be even sweeter; allowing Pogba to return to France, ending his awkward marriage of convenience with Mourinho and procuring an elite replacement in one swoop.
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Former Newcastle United striker Craig Bellamy came up with some surprise advice for Newcastle United manager Rafa Benitez on Sky Sports’ The Debate show on Wednesday night, after suggesting the Spaniard should stay with the Tyneside outfit this summer even if Arsenal come calling for his services.
ESPN reported on Wednesday that Gunners players had been discussing the former Liverpool and Real Madrid boss as a potential replacement for Arsene Wenger following a disastrous season, and the 57-year-old would probably be tempted by the opportunity rejuvenate the north London outfit – especially if Mike Ashley fails to sell Newcastle in the near future.
Benitez, who pundit Stan Collymore believes will leave the club this summer, has other things to concentrate on first though with the Magpies facing a huge and potentially season-defining Premier League clash against fellow strugglers Southampton at St James’ Park on Saturday, which looks to be a great opportunity to put some breathing space between them and the relegation zone.
Despite currently fighting against the drop, Bellamy believes that the Tyneside outfit have huge potential and has suggested that Benitez should choose to stay even if he is offered the Arsenal job.
The 38-year-old told The Debate: “Does he deserve [a move to a club like Arsenal]? Listen if he can get Newcastle going it’s a top, top football club.”
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Some surprise advice from the Welshman in some ways, but Newcastle supporters will be loving those comments and will hope that Benitez heeds his suggestion.
With the upcoming English Premier League season about to get underway, it’s about time to create your Fantasy Premier League team.
We divide the categories into FIVE parts, one defensive player, one midfielder, one forward, one player who is ‘worth a punt’, and one budget player.
And with United looking like they’re heading back to their best under new boss Louis Van Gaal, there’s going to be a few Old Trafford stars worth picking this season.
Nobody is a sure pick, but based on pre-season form and their points tally from the previous campaign; here are FIVE Manchester United players to consider when picking your EPL fantasy team…
*All prices were obtained from the official Fantasy Premier League game
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CLICK ON WAYNE ROONEY TO SEE THE FULL LIST
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Defence:
With Luke Shaw being the only defensive left wing-back available, he will be Louis van Gaal’s number one pick. His role will see him have a lot more attacking freedom, mainly to get into a crossing position in order to assist the other forward players.
Last season, he managed 123 points with Southampton and could be aiming for a lot more now that he is part of the Manchester United setup. As of now, the only threat to his position could be the likes of Ashley Young, who seems to be performer better and better as a wing back. Priced at 6.0, his contribution both defensively and in the attack gives him an edge over the two centre-backs.
Midfield:
Juan Mata is another key player for Manchester United and since he is seen as the main player-maker in the squad, he is sure to grab a few assist here and there. In addition to his ability to provide the killer pass, his pre-season form has seen him create scoring chances for himself as well.
With 124 points from the previous campaign, Mata seemed to flourish during the last few games, so expect him to start strong after having time to fit in with the United squad. Priced at 9.0, he is very likely to become a regular for the Red Devils as points will flow in given he can continuously provide goals for his team mates, while attempting to bag a few for himself as well.
Forward:
Wayne Rooney is likely to be one of the main attacking outlets for Manchester United in the upcoming season as he likes to drop deeper to receive the ball hoping to advance the play further. Priced at 10.5, he has been in great form during the pre-season and will most likely continue to play at the top of his game during the campaign.
He managed 190 points last time despite a horrible season which saw them finish in seventh place. However, with Louis van Gaal now taking charge, both Rooney and the Red Devils look to be returning to their best.
Worth a Punt:
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Although Robin van Persie is rather expensive with a price tag of 12.5, it is believed that under Louis van Gaal, he will flourish and could even return to his scoring best. An all and out striker, he will probably be the last person that touches the ball before it goes into the back of the net.
Despite his 112 points the previous season, Van Gaal will know exactly how to get the best out of his star striker. His ability to find the net time and time again is the main reason why he will be worth the large investment.
Budget Pick:
With Louis van Gaal deploying a three-man centre back and Manchester United currently lacking in the defensive department, Phil Jones will most probably feature. Playing alongside the likes of Jonny Evans and Chris Smalling, it is about time he lived up to his name as England’s next big central defender.
Jones got 86 points last season, more than both Smalling and Evans, hence his pick as the most likely to replicate his previous form. At only 22, he has a lot of room to mature and it looks likely that under Van Gaal, he will do exactly that. Priced at a reasonable 5.5, his potential game time and current form can surely see him hold a regular place in the squad.
River Plate’s defensive midfielder Leonardo Ponzio is a transfer target for Tottenham Hotspur, according to Sky Sports News.
Ponzio has spent the most-part of his career bouncing between River Plate and Zaragoza, being part of the latter club’s 2009 promotion back into the Spanish top flight. The midfielder only recently rejoined River Plate in January 2012 but could be on his way to the Premier League in the coming transfer window.
The Argentine international, capped seven times for his country, has been in good form for La Banda this season, and recently scored the equaliser during a derby clash with Boca Juniors which ended 2-2. It is believed Spurs scouts were at the match to watch the midfielder’s progress on the request of Andre Villas-Boas.
“I knew that some people came to watch me in the match against Boca and I think in another game too,” 30-year-old Ponzio told reporters.
“Nobody spoke with me about a possible transfer or real interest. Anyway, regarding my future, I am very comfortable where I am and I feel respect. I would like to take advantage of this moment.”
When quizzed on a move to White Hart Lane, the Argentinean replied: “What comes for my career from now on will be analysed. At my age I have to analyse everything with my family.
“It’s not a year yet since I came back from Spain. Therefore, if an offer arrives, River and me will have to analyse it,” he added.
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“I am at a good personal moment and I have to keep on going on in that way. I would like to have the chance to play for the national team again, so I have to keep on doing well at River.”
Everton fans are absolutely crucifying Ronald Koeman, after the former Toffees boss tweeted his displeasure with some poor customer service.
Quite a lot went wrong towards the end of Koeman’s Everton career, but most of all his signings were a complete disaster.
While the departure of Steve Walsh this summer probably shows it wasn’t all Koeman’s doing, the Dutchman’s summer spending spree was quite simply awful.
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Of all the players the Toffees brought in, only really Jordan Pickford represents both immediate success and significant value if they decide to sell the keeper on.
Davy Klaassen was perhaps the pick of the bunch as far as bad signings go, making just seven league appearances at Goodison after his £23.6m move.
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Everton fans will of course be expecting bigger and better things this summer thanks to the arrival of Marcel Brands and Marco Silva, and they are hilariously bashing Koeman after he rather bizarrely tweeted at a flip-flop company over their “lack of service”.
You can find some of the best Twitter reactions down below…
Manchester United fans are anxious about Paul Pogba’s involvement, or lack of, against Sevilla in the club’s upcoming UEFA Champions League clash this week.
Pogba missed the weekend’s FA Cup action due to illness, with some pundits theorising that it pointed to deeper issues between the player and manager Jose Mourinho.
The 24-year-old did train on Sunday, perhaps a signal that he is ready to feature against the Spanish side on Wednesday night.
However, supporters are worried that if he doesn’t play then it means that a rift between the Frenchman and his manager is a reality, potentially causing a major problem in the closing stages of the season.
Pogba has been in good form for the majority of the season, scoring three goals and creating 10 assists from midfield, but in recent matches he has been decidedly off the boil and fans are hoping he can play to his full potential going forward.
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They took to Twitter to share their thoughts on his situation…
Having shone for Chelsea this season, much was expected of Eden Hazard at the World Cup. The 23 year old racked up fourteen goals and seven assists in the Premier League, form which had even prompted the attacking midfielder to compare himself to Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo.
However, after Belgium’s disappointing quarter final exit, Hazard has been labelled by many as the biggest flop at this year’s World Cup. The 23 year old struggled to influence matches and was even substituted by Marc Wilmots as his side chased the game against Argentina.
Although he departs Brazil with two assists to his name, it was hardly the showing that many had anticipated from Hazard. When it comes to Twitter, the Chelsea star seems to be the prime contender for the title of biggest flop of this year’s tournament.
With all the talk and controversy that’s surrounded Andy Carroll in the past couple of years, it is sometimes easy to forget just how young and inexperienced he actually is.
At 23 years of age, Carroll is the most expensive British player of all time. He has worn the famous number 9 shirt for his hometown club, been the subject of a £35million transfer to Liverpool, played for his country at a major tournament, and been a part of one of the most controversial and seemingly senseless transfer fiasco’s of all time, which saw him eventually join West Ham on loan.
It seems an awful lot for a player who’s in fact only made 68 Premier League appearances, with a large chunk of those coming as a substitute, particularly for Liverpool. In that time Carroll has managed just 17 Premier League goals, with 11 coming during his spell at Newcastle between August and December 2010, which prompted Liverpool to make their outrageous bid in January 2011.
Carroll has managed just six Premier League goals since then, and is currently on a run of just one in his last 22 appearances, and is yet to get off the mark for his new club West Ham. The statistics do not make good reading, but as always only tell part of the story.
There have been a few murmurs of discontent surrounding Carroll and his failure to get off the mark from press and pundits, as will always be the case. The problem lies in the fact he will always be known as the ‘£35million striker’, which for a fee like that demands 20-plus goals a season.
Those expecting that from Carroll will be waiting for a long time, as he is simply not the sort of goal scoring centre forward everyone expects him to be. He’s still a young player, with time on his side to evolve and improve, but a return of 10-15 a goals a season is the maximum you can expect from him. The pressure of the ridiculous price tag Liverpool paid for him alongside injuries has hindered his progress, but his overall form has steadily improved.
The criticism aimed at Carroll when he first signed for Liverpool, was his lack of mobility. He looked sluggish, his touch was heavy, and his usual strength and power was often missing. It later became apparent that Carroll was still feeling the effects of the injury that he sustained while at Newcastle, and it wasn’t until Carroll was given playing time due to the eight game suspension handed to Luis Suarez that Liverpool fans started to understand why he was rated so highly.
From January onwards Carroll looked an entirely different player. Having been given a run of games to restore his fitness, he set about causing havoc among defenders, chasing lost causes, and creating chances for his teammates, which sadly for Liverpool were often spurned. His back to back performances against Chelsea in the FA Cup final, and the 4-1 Premier League victory were outstanding, and he looked every inch a top class centre forward.
The thing missing for Carroll was goals, and has sadly been the case since. He has managed six domestic goals since January, coming against the likes of Oldham and Brighton from the lower divisions, and Premier League strikes against relegated Wolves and Blackburn. His performance in the FA Cup final and for England during the Euros showed he has the ability to produce on the big stage, which is why Liverpool fans were so disappointed about the decision to send him on loan, just at the time he was starting to regain some confidence.
Since his arrival at West Ham, Carroll has looked hungry and eager to impress. His debut performance against Fulham was outstanding until he picked up a hamstring injury, which has only served to delay his progress further.
Since his return to action he has shown the desire to put himself about and impress, and the West Ham fans seem to have immediately taken to him. However you feel he needs a goal as quickly as possible to keep the critics off his back. Carroll looks very much a confidence player, and his desire to impress and win people over often leads to him rushing and over complicating things for himself.
It seems Sam Allardyce has set about getting back to basics and playing to his strengths. The pressure has eased considerably since his time at Liverpool, but he will undoubtably be desperate to end his goal drought. With his overall play being so much improved, you feel once the first goes in the floodgates could open. There are not many with the attributes Carroll possesses, the incredible strength, heading ability and hammer of a left foot. At 23-years-old he is still learning, and needs to be given time to bring all those attributes together. The signs have been there.
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The crucial thing for Carroll now is that he continues doing the right things, and ignores those seemingly out to get him and who will constantly ridicule his price tag and goal scoring record. The sooner people understand what he is about and stop demanding him to be something than the player he actually is, everyone will see the best for him. And for West Ham and England, this is a very exciting thought.
What have you made of Andy Carroll’s form this season? Follow me on Twitter @LukeGreenwood89 and let me know your thoughts.